I’d like to say
I’m contemplating deleting old posts and starting from scratch. You know, have a blog I wouldn’t be embarrassed if my co-workers stumbled across. One without all of the cursing. And inappropriateness. And Andy’s comments. Especially Andy’s comments. But I think it might be easier to start a new one altogether with a name less easily tracked to me. So, if you haven’t given up on me totally, which by now you should have, then suggest an alter ego, I’ll start a different blog, and we can continue–rather pick up–the silliness.
Crickets Crickets
Andy thinks I don’t blog often enough. I’m lazy. I’m ok with that. So, as to the car story promised…
A couple of weeks ago the boyfriend and I drove down to Tulsa for my Grandpa’s birthday. On the way there my passenger side window decided it no longer wanted to work. I decided to leave it up so that I wouldn’t have to duct tape it up. Simple solution, eh?
We stopped in Wichita for lunch. We tried to find this little health food store that I like and we ended up in the industrial part of town. There was a little triangle of metal in the road (it kind of reminded me of those teeth you see when you drive into parking lots, the metal bits that are ok to drive on in one direction, but will rip your tires to shreds if you go the other way.). It flattened both tires on the driver’s side of the car. The boyfriend couldn’t see the metal in enough time (it was small, but a sharp little bugger) but it barely got the back tire. Anyways, we had to call a flatbed to come and tow us. And get two used tires put in the car. But wait, boyfriend in his distress over the TWO flats accidentally locked my keys in my car.
Trust me, I did find it a little funny. The way he told me was by coming up to me and asking me if I had my spare key. “Um, no, I keep that in my apt so someone can rescue it for me. Because I don’t want to accidentally lock the spare in the car…” Yeah. Some of us are better than others at remembering to put the keys in hand before locking the car. However, it turned out that if my window was going to break it was a convenient time. We just pulled the window down enough to get a hanger in there. Then had to duct tape the fucker up. Goddamn if I don’t have duct tape remnants still on the rear passenger window. My poor car, you just shouldn’t look at it on that side.
We got to Tulsa, all was well, had a good weekend. A couple of girlfriends had come over to see me. We went to vegan mecca, Whole Foods. And on the way out I noticed a bright green puddle beneath my car. It was leaking coolant. Heavily. Very heavily. To get home we went through 2 1/2 bottles of the stuff. (Stopped in Wichita only to find out the leak was in too tough of a place for a guy to just easily check on. So I went to a repair shop a couple of days later and got it fixed.)
While driving off from vegan mecca said friends called to tell me my brake light was out. It was kind of a good thing, really. Like “Hey, a problem that is easily fixable and within our control.” Plus, we were already headed to Walmartland for coolant. Meh.
Cruise stories to follow eventually. I think I need to reread that David Foster Wallace essay on the subject, “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again.”
Also, I’m going to look into getting approved for a car loan. I really want a Honda Fit. They are freaking adorable. And get good gas mileage. Plus, it might outlive me.
People
Dude, Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet. Don’t make me drive by your inflatable Christmas crap. I don’t like your snowman or your fake snow globe or your freaky Santa, and I sure don’t like it when it’s not even the day after Thanksgiving yet.
Does no one care anymore? Sheesh. I blame you, Walmart. If you didn’t start filling the store with decorations before Halloween maybe people wouldn’t be som compelled to fill their lawns so early. Damn the man.
I’ll blog about the ridiculous time my car had last weekend in the near future. Poor little guy.
You win
Rhiannon was all proud of the large number of comments that the post involving her Spiderman-loving boyfriend received. And, to please her, I’ll let her know that it is the all time most viewed post as well, meaning people clicked through to look at the post all by itself with its comments. 87 times. There, Rhiannon, are you happy? Thursday was my busiest day ever with 102 views. Because you people really love discussing hero bedding.
This is so why I’m a lazy blogger. I’m only competent at hosting a forum on Spiderman pillowcases.
On a bright note, Ashley’s suggestion that sending over superhero bedding to the Middle East might patch things up there (thereby covering the major points of the blog post) really made my morning. I could just see all the cute little twin sheet sets shipping out.
How old
is too old for a man to have superhero bedding? Just a thought.
Anyone have exciting Halloween tales? My roomie’s idiot friends managed to break three bottles at his party. I love those boys all so dearly…I only learned one name…hmm. Also, the woman at the grocery store informed me that they don’t sell orange food coloring there. I’d have to mix red and yellow. Doesn’t that seem like too much effort when you’re already making frosting from scratch?
Anyone sad that Afghanistan isn’t going thru with an election after all?
Also, there are a couple of books on my radar. One about how life has changed for American women in the last 60 years and the new book Eating Animals. Any takers?
This is a poor excuse for a blog post when it’s been waaay more than a week. But I don’t care. I was a bunny for Halloween. Take that.
Also, no clue when the AndyBunny post is coming…he’s busy with insane school work or something. I secretly think he just makes stuff up, but I have no proof of this.
Something cool
Here are some pretty photos. Of something in Kansas. Yeah, I said Kansas. (more…)
Never Again
I just tried waxing my legs. Rather, I waxed the bottom half of one leg and part of a knee. It was tedious and I got bored and stopped.
For you women out there that are equally inept at such things, I’ve decided it’s best to have someone more skilled do it. The waxing didn’t hurt, but I didn’t get all the hair, and the wax remnants won’t come off so I’m picking things up. Sexy. There’s a lovely mental image for you today.
Random
I feel a strong urge to dye my hair. This happens when I’m trying to grow it. I must do SOMETHING to it. That’s one of the ways I know how to express my femininity. That and the pink purse and all of the skirts. Yet, somehow, it’s not always convincing.
Anywho. I can’t pick a color. Suggestions?
Hello there
Still no Clue. Though a woman at the animal shelter offered to give me her cat. Yeah, that’s the same. (Apparently her two giant dogs don’t like it, so the cat chills in her master bathroom all day. Also, the last time I was at the shelter a terrier snuck out of his cage and was suddenly pawing and nuzzling my legs for attention. So, I go out to tell the workers that there’s a dog out. When I open the door between the animal rooms and the entrance to the shelter the little guy bolts into the foyer–I couldn’t resist–and the animal shelter guy asks me “Is it a terrier that’s out?” and I have to tell him, “Yes, actually it’s the one RIGHT BY your feet.” Damn, that dog was funny. Apparently he’d gotten out of his cage the night before and vomited everywhere. He must have thumbs or something, totally got put in another cage.)
I’d like to say “holy crap, kitten picture.” Best way to get blog hits.
And now, quit writing hateful comments about my not having posted. Or texting about it, Rhiannon. Yeah, I’m calling you out.
Btw, expect an AndyBunny guest post in the near future. It’s sure to be wholesome family entertainment. Perhaps we can even get a photo of Raven.
And have you guys seen “Lie to Me”? I’m now obsessed. Seriously cutting into my wasting my time in other ways on the internet.
